Daughter: So dad when can I have Instagram? It is just photo sharing.
Dad: Yeah, photo sharing of people’s butts! (eye roll from eldest child)
OK this is not about whether to give your child a mobile phone or not. Contrary it seems to almost every other parent, we’re ostracizing our kids with the no mobile phone plan. But that hasn’t stopped their efforts to subvert our decision by finding alternatives through other electronic devices. So now we’re being asked for Instagram on an IPod.
If I cave in to one form of social media why not cave in to the lot? Why not give them a phone and let the world have it’s way with my kids?
How do you protect your child once they are on social media from all its disadvantages…in fact I can’t really think of too many advantages.
Oh, yes they’ll feel excluded if they don’t share the screen fixation that prevails in high schools. They’ll be left out of all the social interaction that is now done online and part of the playground…the virtual playground that is, as no-one it seems is actually doing any physical play anymore. Just sitting and pecking away with both thumbs between classes.
Yes I know I’m in the minority. Stinky poo parent who is stuck in the world of cassettes and LP’s won’t let their little darling have a mobile and she’s in high school for goodness sake. I mean who doesn’t give a mobile phone as a graduation present when their kid leaves primary? Outrageous.
The fact that we all capitulated so readily to mobile phones ownership is history. I remember how it was once sooo rude to use your phone on the train at all. Now it’s unusual to see someone actually reading a book or looking out the window. But now its spreading so fast primary school will be soon clogged with the damn things just like high schools. Try and teach in a high school these days and get the kids to turn the rotten things off and concentrate. Nightmare.
I have Facebook, Twitter, Skype and even a LinkedIn account. I don’t use them all that well. In fact I gave up on LinkedIn a long time ago. Just seemed to be full of wishful males wanting to get ahead. I like Twitter, when you’ve got something immediate and unfolding minute by minute, but that’s pretty unusual. Most of the time I just don’t feel like boring people with stuff. Unless I’ve got something worthwhile to share, I’d rather not fill the air. Facebook is a dorky world. I’ve never liked filling out their little forms or even clicking the nerdy ‘like’ button. How lame is that?! But millions can’t be wrong can they?
However, I do like the way women use Facebook in general, I really do. They seem to genuinely keep up with what their friends are doing. It’s quite social. Although I don’t know how they keep the lid on the competitive envy as one parent after another brags by proxy about their kids.
Social media can be not just a place of inclusion for your child amongst peers, it can be another forum of exclusion..of missing out. It can be a place where no-one responds, no-one likes your post, no-one it seems cares. That’s the opposite of what our children are looking for. In our rush to keep our kids up to date and included in the social cogs we may be exposing them to unnecessary rejection, amplified loss, increased disconnection, further loneliness and anxiety.
Who needs that? Not your precious.
Sure I use social media. But not out of love for it. I’m prepared to stick it out in social media for the sake of sharing the good news, equipping other parents and promoting the gospel shows I perform. But I could easily live without the lot. I love NOT sharing a moment on social media. I love just enjoying it myself with whomever I’m with. And If I’m with no-one then I share it with the Lord. “I’m with you till the end of the world” Jesus said. Can’t that be enough for our kids as well?
Pester power is big and it is really big with technology, phones and social media. What will you do?
Ok we do need each other...that's why God made us male and female and wanted us to fill the earth (Genesis 1). It's not just me and God. It's me, God and my fellow human being. That's life. Life is not richly lived, nor properly lived by just yourself and God. One thing I’m a little malleable on is remaining connected with friends you just can’t see anymore. Like they’re overseas or interstate. I can see a real positive side to social media in that way for our kids. What I think I’m reacting against is the local playground coming to roost every night in my daughter’s room and mind. Speak to them tomorrow dear. But maybe, there’s a place for a controlled, monitored form of social media that our kids can benefit from using that isn’t about self esteem or being part of the group. It’s just about fellowship with friends they don’t get to see during the week. That I think could be the opening for me. What about you?
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