Purposeful Parenting

Going for Broke

We all want was is best for our kids but what does purposeful parenting look like in practice?

Follow the creator of Anton’s Antics’ as he negotiates the challenges of being a parent.

“The blog's slogan started off as a joke between my wife and I, as it can be tough making ends meet and parenting is not easy. I want to hear Jesus say ‘well done, good and faithful servant’ with what He has entrusted to me. We have to go for broke don’t we?

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When prayers aren’t answered what do you say to your kids?

Details: Created: Sunday, 27 March 2016 18:09

Ever heard yourself say to your kids: ‘God always answers our prayers; it’s either ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘wait’.

But what happens when you wait and wait and wait to the point where you feel betrayed by God. How do you as a parent teach your child to have faith in God when you feel let down by Him?

Perhaps you’ve step up to the plate but God’s left you standing with no one to pitch the ball. Or your family has been praying for something for years and there’s no visible progress.

Is the answer ‘no’ and you should just give up?

Is the answer ‘wait’?

I reckon there’s another category, it’s ‘ ’. That’s right, nothing. Silence. You see, ‘wait’ implies you will be answered or that you’ll be given what you ask in time. Just wait and it will come good. Just wait and all will be explained. But sometimes the answer isn’t no, or yes or wait on, but simply, nothing. No answer. No explanation. Silence.

Am I allowed to say this? Is it heretical?

Is disappointment with God something you can talk about with your kids?

Details: Created: Sunday, 27 March 2016 18:01

Perpetual illness, repeated injury, chronic unemployment, can’t take a trick. Relationship breakdown, business failure, loneliness with no company in sight.

Those of us who have faith in Jesus know of times when we feel close to God; our prayers being answered apparently assuring us that we are ‘in step’ with his will. But then things go pear shaped and we feel distant. We think something must be wrong. God’s stone walling me…so we must be out of step with his will…right? Or worse…he doesn’t care….or maybe not even there after all…or if he is…he isn’t worth believing in.

How do you as a parent teach your child to have faith in God when you find it hard to pray yourself? When you’re prayers aren’t being answered? When you feel let down by God?

It’s Friday but Sunday’s comin’! How to avoid the second deadly sin of parenting

Details: Created: Sunday, 27 March 2016 17:41

Jesus' empty tomb bible story for kids Last week I had the wonderful opportunity of taking part in an interview for a podcast called The Jesus Files hosted by Lara Helmling in the United States. We covered a wide territory discussing some of the best and most challenging experiences of being a follower of Jesus. I was asked about my favourite verse of Scripture and decided to go with this one:

‘For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died’ 2 Corinthians 5:14

Here’s the link to the full podcast: The Jesus Files with Lara Helmling and Stephen Shearsby

I have to say, this may not have immediately come across as a ‘go to verse’ of inspiration for The Jesus Files listeners. Plus it got me thinking about what I want to call the second deadly sin of parenting, forgetting Easter Sunday.

The seven deadly sins of parenting?

Details: Created: Wednesday, 23 March 2016 16:31

kids easter story video The other day I saw an online advertisement titled, ‘The seven deadly sins of marketing’. Intrigued I started to think what connotations the author was trying to conjure up in prospective customers. Thoughts of Victorian antiquation come to mind…’you’re so old school that you are ruining your business with those tactics’ or perhaps even ‘you’re breaking the golden rules to making your business prosper’. Either way, I guess it works!

Now when Christians use the word ‘sin’ we are either embarrassed by it, call it something else or in some cases avoid mention of it altogether preferring to focus on more positive aspects of the truth: Jesus loves you. God offers you new life, eternal life. Just don’t mention the‘s’ word. Why are we so squeamish about ‘sin’?

No.1 rule parents should teach their kids

Details: Created: Wednesday, 16 March 2016 20:15

kids easter video Imagine if there was one ‘killer’ rule out there and if you missed it…boy you really screwed up. Parenting can seem like that and leave you feeling guilty.

A new parent once asked me, ‘So if you were having your first child again, what rules would you insist upon?’

Now rules sound harsh in today’s climate, but it’s that idea of what ‘guns’ you’re going to stick to; Actually ‘guns’ and boys are out these days too, so let’s say ‘principles’. Yes, what principles you think will make a real difference in your child’s upbringing. For us, one came to mind that I’m sure others will resonate with but I apologise in advance as it sounds a bit…trivial.

Here it is...

When is too soon to talk to your kids about the crucifixion?

Details: Created: Tuesday, 08 March 2016 17:46

kids easter bible stories During a recent series of videos I made to encourage people to step up and make Easter bigger than Christmas I got a lovely email from someone concerned about how stories of the crucifixion might easily disturb children.

Here’s the email:

“What’s your take on the appropriate age to introduce the crucifixion story to children? It seems very overwhelming to some kids and while it’s difficult to avoid seeing the images…I wonder when is too young to start talking about it”

What are your thoughts? Do we as parents hold off broaching the ‘reason for the Easter season’ for a few years, maybe until primary school starts? We could stick with the more positive aspects like the resurrection and promise of eternal life. Is the cross of Christ a topic to be avoided for young children?

My reply

Here’s my attempt to answer that email (with some minor edits since):

Regarding the question you asked I mulled it overnight and my take is following a line from the apostle Paul who said somewhere in the New Testament, (Acts 20 maybe?), ‘I haven’t held back from declaring to you the whole counsel of God’....read on...

How to let your preschooler be open to God

Details: Created: Wednesday, 02 March 2016 10:38

easter bible sticker story for preschoolers How do you as a parent keep your child open to God even though you might be a skeptic?

What kind of expressions of faith should parents expect of their toddlers?

Jesus said to his disciples in Mark 10:13 ‘do not hinder the children from coming to me, for the kingdom belongs to such as these’.

What does Jesus mean by these words?

Always in the kingdom?

Some argue for immediate inclusion in the kingdom; so kids are ‘in’ until they ‘step out’. Consequently all babies, toddlers, kids, even those in families of different faiths are in the kingdom until they actively choose to reject Jesus. Attractive as this may seem it doesn’t square with what’s going on in the gospels. The disciples are hindering the children from coming to him deeming them a waste of time or beneath Jesus’ interests. So the children are trying to enter the kingdom but obstacles are put in their way by the disciples. Jesus responds by sternly rebuking them and warns that unless the disciples enter like a child, they won’t enter at all. Consequently, I don’t think children of any faith, creed or family automatically belong in the kingdom; they too must enter...

How to talk to your kids about explicit content

Details: Created: Tuesday, 23 February 2016 10:58

notforkids I’m not a fan of sleep overs. I prefer my kids to value their sleep as much as I do. Isn’t it better being fresh and ready for each day, rather than sluggish and out of synch with the world? Apparently not.

More importantly there are other issues like, ‘what movie will we watch?’ It may sound harmless surely there’s nothing to worry about unsupervised young kids watching TV or internet movies late at night? A few titles were mooted, thankfully my daughter asked us about the titles. Mum checked them out on IMDB for parent information and was able to discuss the themes, action, and language warnings etc with our daughter. I was impressed when I heard she had decided she wouldn’t watch the film. The party in the end decided not to watch any film and instead do other, more social things. Good call.

It reminded me of an article I saw in the paper recently about a woman who had written a book to help schools, parents and kids discuss pornographic images they had seen on the net or TV. Here’s a grab from the article:

How to make Easter bigger than Christmas

Details: Created: Tuesday, 16 February 2016 19:20

IMAGINEgmp You know, you really shouldn’t go to church this Easter.

That was the title of a blog post I wrote just before Easter last year.

Yes it was cheeky, yes it was a little bit controversial and got a few people talking and yes I was a bit worried about offending people, but sometimes if you’re going to make a difference you need to say things a certain way to cut through all the noise…

‘Why you shouldn’t go to church this Easter’…you can still find it amongst the Purposeful Parenting posts on this blog, with a bunch of ideas, 10 I think that you could try this Easter.

But the obvious one to go for has to be kids. Kids love Easter, just like Christmas. So let’s get really practical:

Now, often ideas require significant work; it means gathering teams together, planning, preparing, motivating people, selling the vision.

Why do all that you may ask, when in Australia we all like to seize the public holidays and go camping? No-one’s going to be around Stephen, so why bother?

Really? No-one will be around? Well they certainly won’t be if we don’t offer them an alternative to going camping. If our peeps have nothing to look forward to at Easter except a long weekend, then you can’t blame them for going camping. But imagine if they had a vision to hang their hat on that really raised the stakes at Easter for their family’s growth and outreach in the community.

A story about stepping up

A few years back I was running a kids and family ministry. I decided to up the ante and put a special event on for kids for Easter Sunday. The others staff members weren’t too enthused but said it was worth a try.