Ever heard yourself say to your kids: ‘God always answers our prayers; it’s either ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘wait’.

But what happens when you wait and wait and wait to the point where you feel betrayed by God. How do you as a parent teach your child to have faith in God when you feel let down by Him?

Perhaps you’ve step up to the plate but God’s left you standing with no one to pitch the ball. Or your family has been praying for something for years and there’s no visible progress.

Is the answer ‘no’ and you should just give up?

Is the answer ‘wait’?

I reckon there’s another category, it’s ‘ ’. That’s right, nothing. Silence. You see, ‘wait’ implies you will be answered or that you’ll be given what you ask in time. Just wait and it will come good. Just wait and all will be explained. But sometimes the answer isn’t no, or yes or wait on, but simply, nothing. No answer. No explanation. Silence.

Am I allowed to say this? Is it heretical? 

Job’s friends would say so. What about you?

How Job's story helps us so much

Job was a guy in ancient times who has a whole book in the Old Testament of some 40 chapters devoted to his struggle with God’s silence. Job knocked and the door was not opened to him. Job called out and the silence was deafening. He just wanted God to answer him and justify why he had let him down so badly. Job never gets his answer. Oh, God shows up, but God refuses to answer Job’s questioning of his character. It’s not appropriate; he’s shown the door, reminded of his creaturely place before the almighty creator. But far from being peeved off even further, Job is suitably impressed. He shuts up. He doesn’t have his answer to ‘why has the sovereign God allowed this to happen?’ He joyfully moves on satisfied the Creator can be trusted without explanation.

So what does this say about what we can teach our kids in the face of similar silence from God?

We are not the first to hear the silences of God

Consider a brief survey of silences from God in the Bible:

Abraham’s 25 year wait for the child God promised him.

Joseph’s abandonment to Egyptian prisons

Israel’s 400 year silence from God in Egypt

Job’s 40 chapters of abandonment

The Psalmists lamenting psalms - 'where are you?'

Israel’s 400 year ‘silence by God’ between the testaments

Jesus’ cry of abandonment from the cross… ‘My God, My God why have you forsaken me’ (cf.Psalm22)

We often overlook these incredibly silent parts of the Bible, where God seems very far off. The point is, Scripture shows us that silence from God is not a new thing; in fact those who are most highly regarded in the Bible’s story of faith are usually the ones who have survived incredible periods of ‘silence’ and feelings of betrayal.

The silence does not equal God's absence

If we look back over that brief list above, there isn't a person there that we could say God was 'far away' or absent from. That gives us hope, courage and comfort.

Keeping the faith: fidelity

In times like this we move the ‘child like faith’ into greater maturity, what Philip Yancey in his wonderfully helpful little book, ‘Disappointment with God’ appropriately calls ‘fidelity’. Our kids need to see this.

Did Job have faith? Absolutely, the only certainty he could cling to was God and his character of love, justice and mercy. Job kept the faith. Fidelity to God won out in the end. God broke his silence, reassured Job of his goodness and love and that was enough. God hadn’t put Job out in the cold because of his sin or because God had stopped loving him. Instead, bigger things were at play…the kind of stuff Job didn’t need to know about, nor would it help him.

How so? How is not having our sufferings explained to us helpful?

Put it another way, what can we give back to God? He has everything. He owns everything. Nothing. Except one thing. One thing he prizes above all. What is it? It’s our trust. Our child like dependency that says ‘God, you are enough’. If I have you, I have everything.

We face silence sometimes not so we give up, not so we blaspheme God’s name, but so we display to all that God is trustworthy, that our faith in him survives without explanation and despite what we can see. That’s really the contest being played out…will you trust God when the experience of life suggests you shouldn’t.

What we are learning is fidelity. Trust that hangs on…despite evidence to the contrary.

Is there room for teaching our kids about disappointment?

Definitely. Let them see a faith in Jesus that perseveres, that remains thankful, that humbly continues to hold on, even joy.

In the end, that's gotta be one of the best models to follow we can give them.