Imagine if there was one ‘killer’ rule out there and if you missed it…boy you really screwed up. Parenting can seem like that and leave you feeling guilty.

A new parent once asked me, ‘So if you were having your first child again, what rules would you insist upon?’

Now rules sound harsh in today’s climate, but it’s that idea of what ‘guns’ you’re going to stick to; Actually ‘guns’ and boys are out these days too, so let’s say ‘principles’. Yes, what principles you think will make a real difference in your child’s upbringing. For us, one came to mind that I’m sure others will resonate with but I apologise in advance as it sounds a bit…trivial.

Here it is...

“Get them to learn to pack up their toys themselves before they do a new thing”

May sound like there should be higher order rules that we’d have picked, so why this one?
At its core is the principle of teaching kids responsibility for themselves. Mum and dad are not their slaves.

I tell you the amount of time parents spend cleaning up after kids is enormous…but it’s such a blessing when they do it themselves. They own their actions. They take responsibility for the home like you do but at a level that is appropriate for their age. You don’t expect them to clean the gutters out or pay the insurance bill when they are 7. But you can expect them to put the Lego back where it belongs.

What this rule means in practice is they don’t get another set of toys out until they have packed the previous one up; they don’t start a new game until the previous activity is put away.

The rule that keeps on giving

The rule of making kids pack their toys up is a rule that keeps on giving as they get older. It would fix, I believe, my current pet irritation that is doors that don’t get shut and lights that are so easy to turn on, but insurmountably hard to turn off for some reason. I could rant on but you get the picture.

It all comes back to the preschool lessons of packing your own toys away. See you think they can’t do it; that they need help. They do need help but there really is no reason why they can’t put things back where they found them. The Lego goes back in the box. The dress ups go back in the bag. Simple. Don’t give in to their laziness. Yes, you’ll need to show them how and help them initially; yes sometimes their packing away will suck and you’ll have to redo it, but in time they’ll get it right.

God, the nasty rule maker?
When God gave mankind the incredible opportunity and responsibility of working and caring for the planet He only had one rule. Imagine that, one rule. If life could be reduced to one rule that would make everything turn and spin beautifully, what is it?

“Eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil” Genesis 2:16-17

One rule: Be fruitful! Enjoy! But remember I’m God and you are the creature. You have breath because I give it to you. There is no right and wrong except what I have made; so don’t go making it up yourselves.

Of course we have done exactly the opposite…ignoring our Maker and deciding to play God. We’ve made ourselves sovereign and have determined in our minds what we think is right and wrong.

The rule came with a consequence… ‘the day you eat of it you will surely die’. We all die because we all play Creator. That’s one ‘killer’ rule.

Easter is all about reversing that mistake. Healing that breach and paying the debt we owe Him. Easter is about opening up the doors to immortality once more. How? Jesus, God’s Son, hangs on nails, suffocating to death on a Roman cross in first century Palestine: He scrubs out the failure, the guilt the offence with His life.

Rules get a bad rap-why?
Rules are good. Rules are necessary. They provide order and a structure that we can all work to and profit by. Rules put things where they belong. Rules are positive – they create a space to flourish in. Total freedom is undesirable. Our children cannot reach their full potential with total freedom.

As God’s ‘experiment’ in the garden showed, total freedom isn’t possible, it’s not on the table, but we failed to listen. A creature cannot be an omnipotent creator. You just can’t flourish in limitless possibility when you’re a human being limited by space and time.

The trickledown effect – teaching your child responsibility
What rules mean in practical terms for your family is that you are sparing a rod for your own back (and your child)…you won’t be always picking up after your kids like they are some royalty figure and they will gain tiny increments of what it means to be responsible.

Now imagine extending that principle to other areas…like really important ones…such as owning their faith in Jesus or at least allowing them to own the discovery of what faith they will have, if any at all.

How to get your child to own their faith

Our kids can’t own that discovery if we don’t let them. If we are obstructive or ‘anti-Christian’ then are we any better than the radicals who excommunicate their family who choose a different path? Aren’t we shutting down the possibility of our kids growing in maturity and learning responsibility, albeit in small doses, regarding their world view?

I bumped into one of our lovely subscribers the other day who said that at their previous kids’ school the parents often opted for their kids to have access to lots of different ‘spiritual guides’. So they would sign them up for ethics, Anglican scripture and Hindu meditation. At least the parents were trying to teach their kids some kind of tolerance and open-mindedness. After all there’s been a lot of ‘militant atheism’ recently that runs a polemic not dissimilar to groups like IS, mocking any form of respectful dialogue.

But the real action and influence is in the home and so it should be; parents are given children and we are the ones ultimately responsible for how our kids are brought up and what they value. You see it’s impossible as parents for us not to show bias and influence our kids. If we despise the Bible, then our kids will too. That’s not giving them a choice. If we refuse to discuss or despise hot topics like evolution and the Bible, then our kids will be influenced in a similar way. As parents we are meant to influence our kids, but we also need to teach them ownership and responsibility for their own decisions and beliefs. Perfect love drives out fear. Fear drives out discussion and free thought. Ignorance and fear are not a solid basis for anything, let alone your child’s faith.

Celebrate your wins!

So recently we had some late but encouraging wins. One child made dinner for the whole family…wow. Initially I’m like no, no, I’ve got it sorted darling, do it another night.  But then you realise, the zeitgeist is now…don’t quench the Spirit’s fire. So I broke rhyme and let her go for it and it was amazing.

Two of my other kids recently got roped in to make an Easter video for you guys. Anton’s Biggest Easter Home Video happened because my kids, poured their energy into helping their dad. Isn’t that amazing? Doing ministry together means we own it together. It’s not just dad’s work but ours.  Over the years they have been really great helping me out with all kinds of ministry stuff. They’ve created and run activities around my shows, they’ve prepared crafts for kid’s clubs and events that Anton’s Antics has run; they’ve been roadies on numerous occasions for Anton’s shows and they’ve manned the ‘merchandise’ stall many times.

It may not be Hollywood but I’m very proud of their work and it’s been awesome to start exploring how to bring the magic of Anton’s live shows into the small screen and share it with you this Easter.

Anton’s Biggest (Home) Video can be watched online for a limited time here

PS: if you’re in Australia there’s still time to grab the very best resources for Easter from our sticker story range. We’ve got both family devotion packs and ministry packs for before school and school age kids!